Wacky Words of WineSense

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Slipping and Sliding Around the Olive Tree Maypole

Sure, I enjoy slathering my best breads in olive oil. And yes, I have been known to double dunk. I also revel in bathing my lips in slippery stuff. That being said you could understand why I stampeded into the Wine Country Inn to partake in their “Ode to the Olive” last week. Sounded like my kind of party. I imagined that I would be dunking my fingers and bread into smooth and scented oils all day long. Not a bad way to spend a fall day. I was shocked to learn that bread with your olive oil can actually be offensive in some parts (Italy!). When I heard that the best way to taste the essence of a good olive oil is to slurp it, I knew I had found a new home at the Inn, since we, at Wacky WineSense, are all about slurping, though typically good wine. I gave myself free liberties to slurp the oil when invited. I soon realized that there are a lot of similarities between growing grapes and growing olives. There is a harvest time for both and olives need to be nurtured in the same ways as grapes. You need to pick and pluck when the fruit has hit its prime. Much like fine wine, acidity levels play a heavy handed role in the quality and taste of good oil. Heat, air and humidity also play vital roles. Unfortunately, the olive counter part is not regulated like wine so you need to be careful when you buy under the guise of true virgin olive oil. It, like vino can get corked. This means that your coveted bottle of extra virgin oil from Italy that you’ve been saving for the last ten years hoping to hang onto to those heady memories of your romps in the Tuscan sun, may not be fit for table time. Nobody wants stanky olive oil at their holiday gatherings so avoid such a fate by ensuring that you make use of your oil within two years of the harvest date. Oil can oxidize like vino so slurp it down soon after opening (2 weeks is ideal). Diane De Filipi of Ask Diane Hospitality was our hostess for the day and this gal knew her stuff. Screw boring Tupperware and Pampered Chef parties in favor of a slipping sliding good time. Who knew olive oil could be such a hoot! The question that everyone wanted to know and that she soon answered was, what makes one oil virgin and another dead-end used baggage? The answer - acidity level. To reach “virgin” status look no further than the label. Your virgin goods should not exceed an acidity level of .08%. If your slippery sack shows more, you’ve got tainted, less than honorable and pure goods. So, buyer beware when it comes to those over-priced, teases. While scents are nice when slathered all over your main squeeze, the same cannot be said for virgin oils. Lets say you buy one of those gourmet pups infused with lemon. Sounds savory yes, but what that tartly fruit is doing is actually robbing your oil of its acid. Diane says to skip the infused varieties and go "pure" all the way, baby. I choked down some damn good stuff at my party full of virgins, and according to our divine hostess, if you slurp a good olive oil it should make you cough, which I did, all day long. The best oils will also give your taste buds and nostrils a wake up call in the form of a bounty of flavorful scents and spices. But, if you’re slurping a virgin hack (those dastardly finds often seen in the clear bottles at your supermarkets), your sniffer will stay on snooze and you’ll get nothing but a greasy finish. I now know that I want my olive oil just like my men - pure and untainted but aged and harvested to perfection. Wacky WineSense Rating: 4.7 Grapes!

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