Wacky Words of WineSense

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Learn more about Ms. WackSense (Christina Julian) at christinajulian.com

BBQ that Boogies!

Eat.Drink.Boogie. That’s the tagline for the newest BBQ catering company to hit the brix of Napa Valley. Having partaken in a pork-filled extravaganza at one of the last BBQs of the summer/fall season, I can honestly say that CROOKED PORCH BBQ gave me something to boogie about. They have earned the right to keep on keeping on with that oh so accurate catch phrase. I’m striving to simplify my life and my write ups so I’m cornering a new phrase to sum up the fine eats that resident Pit Master/Owner Nick Heinrich (707-256-9226, nickheinrich@gmail.com) had to offer – smoky with a side of sass. That’s what came to mind as I slurped down his pulled pork and beans. I can’t quite place my paw on the root source of the flavors I tasted, other than the food left me feeling much more sassy than how I felt prior to the pig fest. The side dishes reigned in my opinion. Finally, some not so typical takes on otherwise standard fare picnic and bbq eats. The chicken yellow crunch cole slaw was downright crackly – crisp, flavorful and nutty. Those pining for the mayo-dripped soggy type slaw would be better off making a pit stop at KFC because the Pit Master’s version is so far off that varietal it may as well be on Jupiter. Heinrich’s take reminded me why slaw, if done right, is the perfect compliment to a forkful of tangy, sauce-slathered meat. The potato salad won me over too. Also sans mayo which almost made this entire meal heart-healthy. The spuds were farm fresh and cooked to non-picnic perfection. They were firm without being undercooked and packed a walloping flavor twist with a sweet nip of spice. If you yearn for gooshy near-mashed mayo soaked spud salad and overcooked meat, you should avoid Crooked Porch all together because all you’re going to find is a whole lot of high quality BBQ and home spun sides that are crooked in the best possible way - guaranteed to get your arse off the couch and onto the dance floor. Wacky WineSense Rating: 4.5 Grapes!

Random Bits I Learned from a Cheese Monger

I have called myself a cheese whore one too many times than I wanted to admit, until I met John Raymond, the Cheese Monger. In a short afternoon spent nibbling large hunks of mind-altering cheese, I decided to embrace my inner cheese hound. There is nothing to be ashamed about in loving a mound of cheese. It, unlike my parental unit, doesn’t talk back or judge me for my indiscretions. Some interesting things I learned from The Monger….
  • A “cheddar man” talks only about acid (either he had an awesome trip on LSD back in the day, or cheddar contains a fair amount of acid)
  • All cheeses are “He/Male”
  • The “rind” of a cheese tells you what is going on in the mind of the cheese
  • Cheeses have “eyes” and their peeps, just like ours, tell you all you ever wanted to know about those tasty slabs of melted madness
  • In hosting a party, if you put more than (5) types of cheeses on a plate, you have “insulted” the cheese
  • Blue cheese needs to be needled - just what you would think, jabbing a selected needle (sewing, knitting, etc.), into the cheese repeatedly, it opens up the cheese for maximum flavor
  • Natural cheese rinds are gentle, not aggressive
In closing, I hope I don’t screw up this quote from The Monger, “Finding a cheese that you deem worthy to 'sleep with' is almost as tough as finding a loved one worth sleeping with, but once you do, you'll know why it was worth the wait.” On my cheese tasting day at Venge Vineyard, with The Cheese Monger (John Raymond), I found way too many cheeses that I wanted to sleep with (I guess that is why I am a self-dubbed cheese whore) - bed space was limited, so I just ate them all. Wacky WineSense Rating: 4.5 Grapes!

Not all wine, all the time – especially with October beers abounding!

Yes we’re called WINE Sense, but that doesn’t prevent us from talking about other things. Especially when it’s beer time! October marks the coming of fall and all the foods and drinks that come with the season. Namely all things pumpkin in my book (pie, cheesecake, scones, cupcakes, seeds, cider rum punch - I’ll stop before I embarrass myself by salivating right out of my office). I don’t want to be remiss in mentioning another one of my favorite passions of the season - Silverado Brewing Company’s Octoberfest beer. This joint is known for cranking out some of the best brew in the valley, but I am partial to the seasonal Octoberfest one. It speaks to me on so many levels, and I wouldn’t even call myself a beer fan, though I do jump onto this 'hopy' team during this candy-fueled month. Don’t let the deep amber color of this boo-full delight fool you. I typically shy away from beers that look too heady for me to handle and spank of bitterness. While this beer looks the part, it certainly doesn’t taste that talk. It’s hearty, substantive and light all on one swing, but not wimpy; it is a mouthful of flavor despite the sense of being light. I realize that this description is a long-winded contradiction, but it fits the bill of this tasty delight. The brewski is also crispy like the leaves that are dropping from our trees and vines, just in time for winter. The ribs aren’t too shabby either, they’re actually a fabulous complement to all of their beers (my second fav being the blonde, the ale, not that strapping fella I saw swilling beer at the other end of the bar). The ribs are a meaty tangy sweet and sweaty delight. Good right down to the bone. So come on in and grab the Octoberfest brew while you can, it won’t last long! Wacky WineSense Rating: 4.70 Grapes!

CHASE-ing - no stalking Chase Cellar's Petite Syrah

In everyday life, it is never good to be female and stalker-ish. I’ve decided, in the wine world this is not a bad thing, at least in the eyes of the proprietors. I am no stranger to touting Chase wines. I’m downright smitten with these people (Pam Simpson & Jeff Blaum – the dynamic bro/sis duo) and their wine. You may know these peeps for their succulent and slurp worthy Zin, and believe me I can’t ever seem to get enough of those droplets of wine gold, but I thought I would take a moment to blow my wind up a new wine goblet. My stalk-worthy victim - the 2005 Petite Syrah. The night after I tasted this beast, spicy and sweet wine plums danced in my head all night long, and it ain’t even Xmas yet. This vino delivers a bursting punch of dark cherry if you ask me. It is smooth, substantive and a surefire delight on a wet rainy day, a hot and spicy night, or actually any damn day of the year. I typically don’t like to curse but some wines delight me to such a degree I am inclined to spew obscenities that would make my dad proud. So sorry Chase, I will now and forever be one of your most diligent stalkers. Sorry, but the wine is just that good. So rain or shine get your arse out of bed and slide on over to Chase. If you’re lucky you might just catch Jeff and Pam puttering around the property and tasting room. Not only do they make bang up wines but they frequently throw grape-busting parties (JulyFest, Harvest, Summer BBQs). It is the vineyard that keeps on giving long after you down that bottle of wine you just bought. Wacky WineSense Rating: 4.8 Grapes!

The end of a very good year - bon voyage CHEERS! St. Helena

The fat lady has sang her last tune. The CHEERS! season has left the building. What do we have to show for our months of support? We will always have the memories. Blocked streets, streets with meat and treats. Bopping bands, lovers holding hands. More wine in a two block radius than one man or woman slurp in a year. But most of all we will be able to look back on a time where the oft quiet and sometimes stuffy streets of St. Helena opened up her arms to embrace the community that supports her. I regretfully write the last of my event wrap-ups for the 2009 season. With a pilot season like this, we can be sure that the CHEERS! show will be renewed for next year (or lets sure as hello hope so). Woodhouse Chocolates. We all know how good they are. Christ, people come to St. Helena just to score some of that magical gooey sweetness, not the mention the bonafide chocolate themed art sculptures that rival the Sax 5th Avenue windows during holiday season in NYC. But just because we know, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t remind everyone how truly delicious they are. As a confirmed choco-holic I can confidently say that the rock-salt milk and dark chocolate caramels that they have served up for free, yes free, each and every CHEERS! social are almost orgasmic. Not almost, they are. Slick, smooth, crunchy, chocolate with a sultry kick. Sweetness that just keeps on giving long after the taffy has been sucked down your food tube. I guess it is safe for me to come clean. Each month I would eat my ration – one milk, one dark. Then I would wait an hour or so, and despite being at the other end of the strip, I would haul it back to Woodhouse to slip another helping of those chocolate pillows down my throat. Two more of the dark chocolates. Then I would get some of my party people to give me their ration. My waistline might never forgive me, but my belly will forever thank me. The boy scouts of our fair city served up birds, lots of bbq birds. Protein that I was in dire need of, to soak up all the wine I was feverishly tasting. It was the last night of CHEERS! 2009, somebody had to do it. Yay Scouts! Service with a suited up smile. On to the wine! I never see or get enough Meritage. But I found a spanking good one from the folks at Ehlers. A light yet bold bowl of fruit comes to mind. Also, a little tweet of tang. Their Meritage made me merry! The Eagle Eye wine, dubbed Voluptuous, that's its name, and it was a voluptuous red blend both dry and sweet-tart, plus the bottles themselves were a work of art, yest art on a bottle. A husband and wife team, he masterminds the wine, and her the art that paints each and every bottle. Tom Scott Vineyard’s Barn Burner Cab. This baby went so well with my dark-choco bites (Woodhouse), at $125 not an economic stimulus wine, but worth every penny. The fact they were giving away this stuff for free was downright dandy. Smooth with a kick. It was as pretty in color as it was in taste. A workhorse of a wine! Five Vintners Zin. A roll off the tongue fruity tootie pie delight! I don’t even fully understand what that means, other than damn good wine. Orin Sift Cellars never cease to surpise my each and every social. Their wine is like young love, every day you discover something new to adore. One month I love Prisoners, then another I salivate for the Papillon, which was my love this CHEERS! I fell under the spell of this blueberry-dipped chocolate of a wine. I was so under its magic, I think I might have started kissing radom people to the left and right of me at the tasting counter. Or maybe I was just tongue kissing the glass and the wine that it was holding. Who cares, it was love at first slurp. I want to cuddle up with this vino on crisp fall and winter nights. Divine to the last drop. And last but not least Turley’s Howell Mt. Zin, a wine that I am no stranger to, but it never ceases to amaze me in its brilliance. Spicy, slick and smooth, just like I enjoy my m_n, well you don’t need to know that. So in the end, as sad as I am to see my CHEERS! social scene draw to a close, it was time. Just like my former home of New York, it is always good to leave people loving you as opposed to remembering you in a less appealing light, because you didn’t say goodbye soon enough (Sorry Seinfeld, as much as adored you I wished you said “when” just one episode sooner). So I raise a glass to good times past. Until next year, 3 cheers for CHEERS! Wacky WineSense rating: 5 grapes x 5 grapes x 5 grapes, forget it - good times all season long!

Waking Up the Grapes w/Kirk Venge and Elvis

I woke up today at 6:30AM to get the first pick of the season with Napa’s resident Pluck Meister – Kirk Venge and his posses of pickers. I was dubbed an honorary picker for the day, though I am angling for life-long picker status.The grapes, those lazy-bum-slackers, didn’t start to “wake up” until about 9:30/10ish. To their credit, once they did finally wake up they glowed and oozed of the sweetest sexiest juice you’ve ever smelt or tasted. And yes, grapes are sexy at any time of the day, unlike us human folk. I guess the grapes, like my former city self need a good night’s sleep in order to perform (performance=delivering bang up juice for some of the pluckiest wines in the world) at their peak. By the time the grapes woke up and joined the party we had already plucked 5 tons of those rolly polly suckers and the morning was still young. We were able to move that many mounds of grapes despite the Pluckster's tussle with Elvis, his S.O.B of a 4-wheeler. At the crack of dawn Elvis went all “rock-king” ego-manic, by attempting to show The Pluck Meister (Kirk Venge) who was boss, by tossing him in an end-over the handle bars. King of the Grapes Venge soon went on to show Elvis that the King of Rock is dead now. All I heard was “Elvis is coming at me!”. I saw the buggy flipped to its side and Kirk standing on all 4s. He, like a very good cat, landed on his feet with a smile. Elvis did not look so hot. He got a swift kick in the tires and finally got to work, but was promptly renamed Matilda. She offered a smooth and stable ride through the grape fields as we picked and plucked like there was no tomorrow. She became our chariot out in the field, hauling grapes to the people. The Pluck Meister’s wine phone rang no less than 30 times during our pickfest, all before the average Joe had even bothered to get out of bed. I trust I have wet your whistle enough to get out of bed and get yourself a glass of wine. I’m gritty, grimy, sweaty and sweet all at the same time. One lick confirmed that I taste good today. I blame it on the grapes. That’s all for now folks. Tomorrow will be another day of wine country heaven, a breed like no other. You haven’t lived until you’ve plucked a grape and had the insane good fortune of being ensconced in the sweet smell of freshly picked grapes.

Que Sera, Sera and Arividerchi baby to CHEERS! St. Helena

Well I thought this day would never come, yet it has. We are being asked, somewhat begrudgingly, to kiss the CHEERS! parade good-bye for the rest of 2009. Parting truly is such sweet sorrow in this case. I hit myself over the head with a wine bottle once again to remind myself that all good things do come to an end and I better just face it and get over it. So it is time for us to lay our overactive emotions to the side so that we, as a community, can help send out this last CHEERS! social in style. If you’re up for the challenge start things off early by hitting the first hour of Acme Fine Wine Friday. Then you will be first in line to collect your wine sampling wrist band ($35) when the flood gates open at 6PM. Whether you want to connect with all of your CHEERS! friends new and old, or you want to finally conquer your goal of sampling wine and buying trinkets at every single place on the CHEERS! roadmap, go for it. Do whatever you need to make the most of this last social, that is what I plan to do. Hitting the Venge grape picking trail Saturday morning will be a tough one, but I will prevail, for the greater good. The food court will still be sporting edibles from your favorite food haunts (and hopefully the Kara's Cupcake mobile will be trucking along Main St.) and the good tweens and teens of the St. Helena High Band will be kicking up beats at the Hunt Street friendship lounge. So, my CHEERS! compadres, you know the drill by now, so I won’t bore you with too many of the details. Just get your butt out there and enjoy this last CHEERS! like there’s no tomorrow, because come Saturday morning, CHEERS! will be a distant yet memorable blip of the past. Check back early next week for my tear-felt recap of the night and my season wrap-up which will highlight the best of the best of the entire 2009 CHEERS! season.