Random Bits I Learned from a Cheese Monger

I have called myself a cheese whore one too many times than I wanted to admit, until I met John Raymond, the Cheese Monger. In a short afternoon spent nibbling large hunks of mind-altering cheese, I decided to embrace my inner cheese hound. There is nothing to be ashamed about in loving a mound of cheese. It, unlike my parental unit, doesn’t talk back or judge me for my indiscretions. Some interesting things I learned from The Monger….

• A “cheddar man” talks only about acid (either he had an awesome trip on LSD back in the day, or cheddar contains a fair amount of acid)
• All cheeses are “He/Male”
• The “rind” of a cheese tells you what is going on in the mind of the cheese
• Cheeses have “eyes” and their peeps, just like ours, tell you all you ever wanted to know about those tasty slabs of melted madness
• In hosting a party, if you put more than (5) types of cheeses on a plate, you have “insulted” the cheese
• Blue cheese needs to be needled - just what you would think, jabbing a selected needle (sewing, knitting, etc.), into the cheese repeatedly, it opens up the cheese for maximum flavor
• Natural cheese rinds are gentle, not aggressive

In closing, I hope I don’t screw up this quote from The Monger, “Finding a cheese that you deem worthy to 'sleep with' is almost as tough as finding a loved one worth sleeping with, but once you do, you'll know why it was worth the wait.” On my cheese tasting day at Venge Vineyard, with The Cheese Monger (John Raymond), I found way too many cheeses that I wanted to sleep with (I guess that is why I am a self-dubbed cheese whore) - bed space was limited, so I just ate them all. Wacky WineSense Rating: 4.5 Grapes!